It Is Hard Being The Strong One

    

     

     The LORD has been teaching me a very hard lesson this week that has opened my eyes to a whole other side to me, and I don't like it. I've had my moments of anger and frustration. I've had my moments of tears. I've asked, "why me?" a million times with no answer. I have been put in a situation that I don't want to be in. I have prayed for several weeks wondering, "what am I suppose to do?" Do you have people in your life that seem to be feeding off of the strength that is in you? There are times when my phone notifies me of a text message, that I don't want to look at the screen. I'm thinking, "what now?" Why should someone else's problems all of a sudden be my problem. It's an inconvenience for me. No body is there for me when I need someone to talk to, or help me with an circumstance that I am facing, so why should I help them? It puts nothing but stress in my life. I'm just done, completely. STOP! Let me show you something here that God has opened my eyes too.

      

      All of these thoughts and feeling above are 100% true and exactly how I have felt for a while, but have you noticed a problem? You got it, it's my attitude. I did not realize how self centered I am, to an extent, when it comes to helping others. Just simply being around as a friend. This has been a rude awakening for me. Now every time I complain all I hear is nonsense. I have no argument any more because God stripped me of my excuses with a simple verse in the book of Proverbs. In Proverbs chapter 3 verses 27-30 God answered my question, "what am I suppose to do?" I'm not going to lie, I didn't want to hear what God had to say about the matter. I was mainly looking for justification for my complaining but there was none. I hit dead end after dead end. However, despite my ridiculous efforts to justify myself it did not hinder God from answering my prayer. I am just thankful he opened my eyes and helped me pay attention. When I pray I tend to forget what I prayed for, and, therefore miss it God answering me. Then I want to complain about how God is silent when He may not be, I just haven't paid attention. Regardless, I prayed and God heard. It's hard being viewed as strong by other people, because then they gravitate toward you and seem to hang on to you for dear life. You have something that they don't have yet want. To you and I it feels like our energy is being drained. We feel as if their problems become our life problems, causing us to react negatively toward the person/ situation. Yes, it's hard being the strong one but (as I have recently been aware of) it's even more difficult making peace with it. So I'll ask the question again, do you have people in your life that seem to be feeding off of the strength that is in you? Now let's reexamine this through the eyes of God's Word rather than our own. That statement is key, let's never not look at things with our own understanding. Remember that verse also in Proverbs chapter 3 verse 5 "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding." I was leaning on my own understanding, not letting God take control over the situation.

      I would like to take this slow and look at each verse one by one. Let's start with verse 27 of Proverbs chapter 3, " Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it." There are a lot of times when we make excuses to get out of doing something for someone. I know why I make excuses. As in the list of complaints in the beginning I felt like it was an inconvenience for me. I didn't want to do it. The way my understanding sees it, if you can't help yourself, why should I? Why am I the lucky one? God reminded me that if I am going to profess to be a Christian, which means being like Christ Himself, then I need to have a major attitude adjustment. It doesn’t matter how I see it, what does God say about it? God says that if I am able to help someone to not hold back from doing so. What if my neighbor asked me to watch his dog while he was out of town and I said no. The reason? I don't feel like it. It wouldn't be hard to feed and play with his dog, and water his plants when he lives right across the street. It's not like he is asking me to take a bullet. It's a simple task for a very caring and sweet man. However, I am too focused on how I would actually have to do something. Poor me! I don't like it but that’s the truth, with most of us. God says to never hold back when you are more than able to do good for someone. Keep this in mind as we continue on to verse 28, " Say not unto thy neighbor, Go and come again, and tomorrow I will give; when thou hast it by thee." What if I have had one of those days where everything is irritating me, I'm overwhelmed with all the things I have to do around the house or in life in general, and someone asks me to drive them to the grocery store. I say, "Not today I'll take you tomorrow," because I don't feel like dealing with it at all. I have a car. Therefore, I am able to drive this person to the grocery store. It's not like they are asking me for money, just a simple ride. God says never to turn someone away when you are able to help them right then. Ok, verse 29 says, "devise not evil against thy neighbor, seeing he dwelleth securely by thee." This verse gripped my heart the most. I never thought about someone feeling safe to be around me. It makes sense and explains why some people who are a little more unstable tend to cling on to the stronger person who seems to have their life together. They pray. Their strong in faith. They don't seem to be falling apart. So it is attractive to someone in need. What if I was so tired of being the strong person in a relationship (any relationship) and I became bitter. That bitterness grows and then I start wishing something would happen (nothing harmful) to cause this person to go far away from me. All so that I don't ever have to deal with their problems ever again. That kind of attitude goes against the Word of God. God says do not think any wrong towards someone when they feel safe around you. We forget that we are surrounded by broken people who need love and encouragement just as much as we do. We are not better than anyone. The Bible says for a man to not "think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly…" (Romans 12:3) We are to stay humble before God and man. We are nothing without God. It's only by His grace that we are strong, and alive. Finally, verse 30 says, "Strive not with a man without cause, if he have done thee no harm." What if I allowed anger and bitterness consume me. I would begin to argue with the person that needed me to be a friend. Then I would start treating this person with disrespect, not caring any more how they feel. What would that do to them?

     We never truly know what someone goes through. There are many deep scars that are hidden in someone's heart and we would never see the pain they face. We never consider the things that are most important. We are selfish people. We are always thinking (myself included), "what is in it for me?"   We have to remember that you and I are Christians. It makes no difference how we feel (It's Not Based On Emotions) it's based on the Word of God. The Bible is our foundation. If we have a problem, take it to God. If we are feeling drained of energy/strength, take it to God. If we are so angry that we burst into tears, take it to God. For we have this confidence in Christ Jesus "that if we ask anything according to His will, He heareth us. And if we know that He hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of Him." (1 John 5:14-15) The Bible also says that the Father knows what we have need of before we even ask Him in Matthew chapter 6 verse 8. So I ask where is our confidence if we act so selfishly? Will not God, our heavenly Father, give us the strength that we need to handle the task that has been given? Does not the Word say He is "able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us?" We all know that the only power we have in us is the Holy Spirit of God. We are better than this. We have the Word and we have God Himself dwelling in us. Our life is no longer ours, but the LORD's. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15 verse 31 that "I die daily" and rightly so. We die daily. We die to ourselves and raise with Christ. I read in a book one time called "The Wigglesworth Standard" that author said this:

"All of self, none of God

Less of self, more of God

None of self, all of God"

     

     This should remind us that we need to die to ourselves and let God have full control. When God has control over our lives completely He will only do what the Word says do. He will never go against His Word. So by the grace and mercy of God we should make peace with the fact that we are the strong ones for those who have nothing. We were once people who had nothing, but God came and dusted us off, polished us up, and now we are made to shine. We have to accept that we cannot make peace with this on our own. If we try to trust our own efforts we will fail every time and then make the situation worse than it was in the beginning. We have to humble ourselves and ask God for His strength (because we have none), ask for His wisdom, and ask for His peace. God stays with His Word so if our hearts are sincere, He will answer in His time. All we have to do is focus on how blessed we are and live each day according to the Word of God. I know it's hard. This is a challenge for me as well, but it is possible with God and in the end worth it. If you feel as if you are being used, or mistreated in some way when all you are trying to do is help then pray for them. Remember this verse, "But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you" (Matthew 5:44). All of this seems hopeless and impossible, but all things are possible with God (Matthew 19:26). Just pray and let God do the impossible. It's not our work but His. We just need to commit the situation, the people, and ourselves into God's hands and then leave it there. Like I said it has been a hard lesson that I still am learning, but God encouraged me through Scripture. He reminded me of the things that I so easily forget. He knows exactly what He is doing. I had a thought earlier today, I thought if God allowed this responsibility of being there for someone pass from me, how great it would be. To finally be done with it. Then I had another thought, if the responsibility passed from me would that mean I am out of the perfect will of God? Yes it would. God makes no mistakes and everything happens for a reason, great and small. There is a reason you and I were chosen for this task, it's best to see it through for His glory. I would not be happy if I was out of the perfect will of God, all because I wanted to have a more comfortable life. I can't do it. I need to stay in His will. I need to be about my Father's business. I always look for the easy way out, but I only become miserable in the end. Yes, it's hard being the strong one. We may seem strong but we feel like we are hanging by a thread ourselves, but hallelujah we have a mighty God who is willing to bear the weight of our burdens. We have a mighty King who is willing to protect us at all times and fight our battles. We have a mighty Father who will provide for all of the things we lack the most. We have a mighty Shepherd who is willing to carry us (sheep) on His shoulders, the strongest part of the human body, when we are weak. There is a reason and there is a purpose for all things. We can do all things through Christ. It will be alright. Yes, we will be tested and tried but it's not like we haven't been through it before. Let this time be different. Let's pray for an attitude change, for more love and compassion to be a friend to those that can't seem to help themselves. Let us not blame them for our reactions, let us make our Father proud and obey the Word of God. We will see results in due time. We will come out of this stronger and better. We should not be overwhelmed because God will take care of everything. It will not last forever. He is the Prince of Peace, He knows what He is doing. We were made for this."Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest" (Joshua 1:9). God Bless You.